I've done some thing that I regret
I've seen some things I can't forget
I've lied to my loving spouse
I've their minds with so much doubt
I've smoked so much; I've been so high
with every word I tell a lie
I've seen my brother die from meth
I held him as he took his last breath
All my fault; I put it in his hands
How could anyone really understand?
I've fought so much to release my rage
I'm like a puppet dsplayed on a stage
I've stolen from my mom and dad
I've taken nearly all they've had
never an accusation was uttered
never a word was ever muttered
but I've always known they knew
they've kept silent, no matter what I do
I've taken the innocence of many girls
a thing more precious than pearls
But no matter what I say
God takes it all away
He forgives my every sin
He takes me over and over again
God is my greatest friend
I stumble down a dead end road
looking for a place called home
no signs to guide my way
a cloud-filled sky to hide my day
I take a step and fall to the ground
only the rain makes a sound
my hands search for something to grasp
I don't dare to bother those who pass
they're only shadows I ignore
who never help when I hit the floor
I want something in my life
a spark to put the gears in drive
the musty air makes me gag
I stumble and find another hand
it holds me steady; it's warm and kind
unlike the others that left me behind
I look up to see a smile
Man, I haven't seen one in a while
He says He's there when I'm in need
a humble friend; a loyal steed
with just that, I'd been put in drive
I was never better till Christ changed my life
See the clouds above my head
like soft pillows on my bed.
The wind carries notes away.
Whispering joy throughout the day.
I feel the rain upon my skin.
Gently erasing the pain within.
Wisps of sorrow now are gone.
No more pain and no more wrong.
A silent cry of hurt released.
Unsettling and yet at ease.
No one else can share my joy.
A peace that no one can destroy.
A time of certainty and of love.
A time that most can only think up.
A love so true; a love so bright.
Filling me with much delight.
Tears of joy slide down my face.
Surrounded by my Father's grace.
I may lie and cheat and hurt.
But to Him i have much worth.
It took much time to get me here
but it was worth the heavenly cheer.
I lean my head against the sink.
I clear my head so i can think.
They say that i can never drink.
I can't cuss; i can't do weed.
They say this is what they need.
I must not do any wrong.
I must be good in order to belong.
But then again i don't fit in.
When i'm good or when i sin.
I'm not allowed to join in conversation.
Without causing devastation.
They look in awe at what i say.
Then they try to push me away.
It's like i can never do anything right.
I try to join, they try to fight.
Secrets kept behind my back.
I'm left out, and that's a fact.
"You're supposed to stay as you are."
I smile and wave, i've gone too far.
I can't do anything or else i'm judged.
Their will to see won't even budge.
I'm supposed to stay as i am.
Pride and hypocricy go hand in hand.
I want to join, they want to hurl.
I'm supposed to stay the good christian girl.
oh how they give us such bad names.
The fake ones that is.
They shove religion down our throats.
They say we're taking the wrong road.
There's something wrong with this,
and something wrong with that.
They say one more word, i'll make their lips fat.
It pisses me off, how i'm always wrong.
And yet their faith isn't very strong.
Well, it's wrong to convict others of their faults.
God please strike them down with a lightning bolt!
Gossiping, judging, they're all sins too.
Maybe we should convict you!
I dare, i dare you to say just one more word.
It'll be the last that anyone's ever heard.
I'm tired of all your judging and convicting.
Screw off you ignorant twit, only god can judge me!