Victoria Farmer

You smile when you see my face.

You hold me close when we embrace.

I can tell you smell my hair.

I love when you brush a stray behind my ear.

When we talk you look me in the eye.

You sneak a tickle, you think you're sly.

You smile when i trip over my own feet.

You help me up, my heart skips a beat. 

I like how you tease me when i'm in your arms.

Even when you bite, you do me no harm.

It's a playful time when we are close.

We share moments that no one else knows.

Your voice is sweet and your eyes are gentle.

You have a place in my heart that no one can dismantle.

When we're together there is no rush.

Is it a wonder that when you're near i can't help but blush?

A rose means joy.
A rose means love.
A rose means forever.
A rose means lust.
A rose means repentance.
A rose ends a sentence.
A rose means beauty.
A rose means devotion.
A rose ends hate.
A rose has so many emotions.
A rose lights up a day.
A rose says everything he didn't say.
A rose lights up her face.
From ear to ear you can see her grace.
A rose mends a heart.
A rose mends what was torn apart.
A rose brings relief.
A rose ends grief.
A rose takes on the strongest of wills.
A rose revives a heart so still.
A rose holds only pure meaning
against words so demeaning.
A rose can hold so many tears.
A rose can hold against so many years.
A rose will say what you never told them.
A rose can end this poem.

Kiss me now and hold me tight.
Promise you'll be here tonight.
Take me to a world all our own.
Beneath the stars that we call home.
Call me babe and call me love.
Promise not to get my hopes up.
Electrify me with your touch.
Hold me, i can't get enough.
Whisper beautiful words into my ear.
Fill my heart with the beauty of a thousand years.
Show me things i've never seen before.
Promise to be mine forevermore.
Teach me what love is really like.
Tell me this is the rest of my life.
Take me out to a glorious place.
Say it's mine, give it my name.
Nibble my neck, and say that you're mine.
Hold me close so i know it's all right.
Tell me i'm beautiful, and look me in the eyes.
Now i know it wasn't all just lies.
You kiss me with such zeal
that i know this must be real.

1 can give me a life to take

2 gives me a choice to make

a human heart

an inhuman love

a brand new start

the perfect drug

I can stay the way I am

heal his heart and take his hand

feel his heat straight through my skin

I'll lose true love, but will I still win?

I can smell his scent a mile away

I see his eyes, and my pain is at bay

I know his voice as if it's my own

I love his touch, even if it's like stone

I can stay alive

if I make him mine

I have to die

to give the other a try

but is death really a sacrifice

to always have him in my life?

one is a friend when I'm in need

one feels keeping me is just like greed

but am I really the selfish one?

once I make my choice the deed is done

a human heart will have to break

with the choice I'm about to make

a fresh start; a new clean slate

I have 2 choices; I choose one mate

You hug me as our normal greeting

I inhale your smell and my morals become fleeting

I smile and look into your eyes

you take my hand and I don't question why

my heart beat accelerates rapidly

we continue this routine stupidly

every time we do something new

every time I don't know what to do

do I continue or end it soon?

say hello or leave the room?

the beast inside me yearns for more

something that didn't happen before

a kiss so small; a kiss so sweet

a yearn for our lips to meet

No. no. That would be wrong

I must resist the siren's song

but when you hold me, I feel no resistance

the beats naws with continued persistance

sensations flowing through my veins

a longing for a kiss; my sanity strains

a kiss would be far too much

yet I yearn for another touch

I long to be at your side

a choice before me; I have to decide

you pull me in; a lamb to die

you leave me at home; I only cry

a magnetic draw to the slaughter

a nightingale that always wanders

you take me from my comfort shell

then shove me into a bottomless well

your eyes captivate any girl

watching you with them

I want to hurl

you hair shines with glory

no heartbreak has ever been so gory

your stance is one of confidence

but your actions are those of belligerence

I'm attracted to you in a mystical way

I'm drawn to you; I have to stay

A night to remember,

so early in october.

A dream of a dream,

where everything is and isn't what it seems.

A perfect night

full of pain and delight.

To cause such pain that is recalled on every day.

To cause such love, remembered in a special way.

Looking into his mystical gaze.

Not being able to look away.

To hear his voice,

like soft music heard above the noise.

The moonlight turning his peach skin pale.

A loving look that had sorrow entailed.

Secrets shared between two teens.

Holding on to a beautiful dream.

Stars illuminating the path that was taken.

An emotional time that was sadly mistaken.

A perilous time for both of the two.

A perfect friendship forever misused.

A bond holding the two together.

Both afraid to share it forever.

One afraid to take the chance.

The other stuck in the serpent's trance.

Two loves and one goal.

Two bodies and one soul.

Forever bound to each other

by a night meant to last forever.

I woke up today,

anticipating seeing you.

Then i realize your hours away.

I get up and look in the mirror.

Memories flow and the lights get dimmer.

I'm back in my dorm, afraid to walk out;

afraid to see what the world's all about.

My friends push so i go outside.

What's so bad with tryin to hide?

I keep to myself, with my sister near.

Like i'm driving a car with no way to steer.

My dormmates accept me and i get calmer.

With each hour my comfort grows stronger.

I go to lunch and look around the room.

Feeling like i'll find something soon.

Then there you are, sitting alone in a crowd.

How'd you glow with so many people around?

I look away in shame,

i hadn't come to play that game.

From then on you were everywhere.

Despite my better judgement i had to stare.

You worked so well with everyone.

I sat in a corner, completely stunned.

Only hours later did i come out of my shell.

If God willed it then it would go well.

I prayed that night for God's perfect will.

Do i proceed or do i stay still?

We started talking and playing games.

You knew my friends and i learned your name.

My friends tried to push me farther.

I couldn't bring myself to bother.

They intervened, despite my qualms.

I knew you wouldn't care and to proceed would be wrong.

After service that night we took a walk.

I fought back my tears and we had a nice talk.

You spoke to me about such heavy things.

An open conversation without any strings.

I searched the skies for the stars.

To give me hope and know how to play my cards.

Suprise struck me completely.

You said you liked me.

I went to bed with an open invitation.

To put me to sleep and calm my anticipation.

I woke up in my own bed.

Replaying the words that you had said.

Camp ended with certaintly.

Time passes far too quickly.

It's hard to survive

without you here by my side.

And yet you are, partially.

Without you here i can't be close to complete.

My mind's got the best of me.

But you hav the rest of me.

I need you next to me.

I can't lie, i'm no where near fine.

I won't be until you're mine.

Being away from you haunts my fears.

I'll stay by your side for years.

Without you it's hard to breath.

Like our Lord, i'll never leave.

Unless you wish,

then i'll savor our last kiss.

Our love can be a song,

and i hope you'll sing along.

I'm glad you took a chance.

A story of romance.

I'm glad you chose to give it a try.

I promise to never make you cry.

And if by chance that i do,

i'll sit there and cry with you.

I'll never let you regret holding my hand.

I promise to always understand.

I miss you on those lonely days.

I promise i will never stray.

If you ever hav to die

i'll stay by your bedside

because you mean more than just mere words.

Here's the end of mine.

I love to feel your gentle touch.

I didn't know i could like someone so much.

Your voice calms my inner troubles.

When you're gone my pain just doubles.

Your eyes beseech me

how did you reach me?

I miss you when your hours away.

When you're gone i can't last the day.

I listen as you speak to me.

Your voice sounds just like luxury.

I stand in awe at the things you do.

I'm amazed that you could like me too.

You're worth the world and so much more.

I've never experienced this before.

I stutter on my words as i speak.

I think of you every day of the week.

I'm far from a jewel or gem.

How'd you see me above the rest of them?

I glance in the mirror and turn away.

But somehow i listen to what you have to say.

I worry you'll try to give me the slip.

I know it's stupid and try to get a grip.

You see me as pearl within a shell.

You get along with people so well.

You make me wonder why i didn't recieve rejection

from God's gift, the woman's perfection.

I've never felt like this before.

Not having to hide anymore.

Being opened up, exposed.

And, sadly, no one knows.

No more secrets lurk behind my eyes.

I no longer spread any lies.

You've helped me to stop being so stupid.

For you, and only you, I'm naked.

You can say you're over me.

You can hate me purely.

You can curse my name at two am.

You can even try to understand.

But I know none of it is true.

I'm the only one who gets you.

I'm the one you run to in a time of need.

I know you only and truly love me.

You can tell everyone i'm insane

but I'm the one you're kissing in the rain.

You can try to run away

but I'm the one you think about at the end of the day.

Why do you run from something so pure?

You say you love me, but act like you're not sure.

You always try to pick a fight.

But you dream of me at night.

You get other girls to try to get me angry.

But as you kiss them I'm in your fantasy.

When will you stop playing these games?

Can't you accept something without pain?

It's pure and genuine as love should be.

It's a perfect scene right out of the movies.

You're charming and endearing,

I'm yours and you fear me.

You fear the love you see in my eyes.

You act like it's a complete disguise.

This is how our love will always be,

until you no longer fear me.

If I could take back everything I said.

If I could take back every tear you shed,

I would.

If I could erase every offense I made.

If I could erase every bit of hate.

I wish I could.

I wish we'd go back to the good times.

Before all the rumors and the hateful lines.

Before I cringed at your very name.

Before all the effort that went in vain.

Back when your eyes lit up at my sight.

Back to when you'd think of me at night.

Before everyone tore us apart.

Before you spurned my name and broke my heart.

Back when you trusted me with your secrets.

Before I became just another regret.

I'd take back every hurtful name I could.

To a time where everything became what it should.

You should've been my forever.

We should've always been together.

You shouldn't ever regret saying you loved me.

You shouldn't be in pain because of me.

Like a car screeching,

I wasn't kidding.

I was serious when I said I would never regret.

You are something I'll never forget.

Back when you were mine,

That's my favorite time.

You're the one thing I would never want to displace.

I could stare forever at your angelic face.

Your beauty astounds me

Whenever you're around me.

I held you close, and called you mine

No one knows it was my heart that broke this time

I loved you, your very essence

But you despised my very presence.

You pushed me away, and yelled profanity

I'd never heard such powerful vulgarity

You broke me down, and destroyed my soul

You dug my grave, and shoved me into that hole

You took my heart, and played it like a toy

Knowing it was the most precious thing you'd ever destroy

You shredded it and lost it, and made me cry

You threw it in a blender, and made me want to die

You handed it back like a used tissue

I wondered why I was such an issue

You lied to me every single day

I was like a lovestruck prey

You got my hopes up, and shredded them to pieces

A much abused map with too many creases

I shed tears for you; I died for you

You never cared no matter how much I cried for you

I never considered my love displaced

Can a soul ever be replaced?

I want to feel you breath on my skin.

To feel your teeth seek out what's within.

I want to feel my life force leave me.

I want you to go ahead and steal me.

I want to feel the blood leave

and wonder how there's still so much heat.

I want to feel your tongue trace the lining of my skin.

I want to let the dark side win.

I want to feel you hold me close.

I want this to be a secret no one knows.

The building tension is an addiction i can't refuse.

But i'm always left hiding the bruise.

The magnetic pull is hard to ignore.

Every week i'm back at your door.

I don't care if i'm a toy or not.

I can't deny that the seduction is hot.

 It's sensual for me, a life force for you.

An addiction i don't want to lose.

You can't do it despite me

so go ahead and bite me.

We started out sketchy.

Awkward and kind of edgy.

You wanted me and I wanted you.

We stood together, but didn't know what to do.

I loved your grace, and awkward smile.

You loved my laugh and boyish style.

We had a joint mind.

Our love was divine.

When we were alone it was a perfect reunion.

Time is a teacher and it's made us it's students.

We never learned what we were supposed to do.

When everyone got involved how was it supposed to be us two?

Friends and family alike fought against it.

Therefore we never had another perfect moment.

But I still dreamt of those holy nights.

I never wanted to give up without a fight.

We both saw each other, passed by in the hallway.

I glanced up, and looked quickly away.

You stared and couldn't believe your eyes.

You thought I'd played you and lied.

People spoke, and had there say.

You tried to take it day by day.

I looked into your eyes and spoke the truth.

Your heart agreed, but your mind lied to you.

A constant battle beginning to ensue.

And I was afraid of losing you.

I told you once, I told you twice.

But somehow you'd made your mind.

I want you here, I want to shout!

Your last chance is standing before you right now.

If I could only see your face

shining bright; lit with Heaven's grace

Maybe the pain will go away

I run and stumble through the underbrush

I search for love and leave behind the crush

My time is nearing, and I'm in a rush

I run after what will not stay

I need you here within my arms

this pain is causing me too much harm

Sound the siren! Ring the alarm!

I haven't seen you today

Your smile makes my heart leap

I dream of you while I sleep

I think I've fallen in too deep

I need to know you're okay

Am i awake or asleep? I don't know. Either way i've fallen in too deep. We're sitting by a lake, beneath a starry sky. No one to near to hear a single cry. I'm laying in your arms without a care. I don't even remember how we got here. Don't say a word or it'll ruin the moment. I don't understand, but i got it. The lake sparkles like stars in the moonlight. I'm in my own personal heaven tonight. I can hear your shallow breathing. It's like magic what i'm hearing. With each passing minute you hold me tighter. Nothing could make this moment righter. I hope nothing messes this moment up. It's nearly midnight but so what? This is like my own once upon a time. Having you, knowing you're mine. Isn't it wrong to keep you formt he rest of the world? To hold you captive from the other girls? No. Not wrong; just selfish. I don't care. You're mine and i don't want to share. The rain falling makes the view misty. I must be crazy. No words can say what i mean, so kiss me cause this is only a dream.

When you're gone for a minute my heart begins to panic.

When I see you leave the room my hearts begs for you to stay.

You have such a hold on my life, you're on my mind with each passing day.

I just want to feel your skin, to hold you in my arms.

I want to know you're safe, to keep you away from harm.

I want to inhale your scent, to memorize each smell.

I'm bound to you forever, no more secrets I can tell.

I want to listen to you speak, to hear the words you have to say.

To walk with you to class, from August until May. 

I want to feel you in my arms, know the taste of your lips.

To know the difference between each individual kiss.

To always enjoy looking over the times that we've had.

Kiss me because I just need you so darn bad.

I'm drowning in a sea of misery. Stranded in a place where even i don't know me. Is it my time to go? Deserted, left alone. I want to get out; to see the world. Too much pain to feel any kind of hurt. My heart's giving out to the pain left inside. Within me my emotions continue to collide. I wish that you would stay. My soul's beginning to decay. No one even tries to understand. No one can seems to be able reach to reach me, but you can.

I pass by your locker sometimes.

There's a list of girls, yet I stand on the sidelines. 

Do you know my name? Am I on your list?

Do you even know that I exist?

I wonder what it would be like to hold your hand.

To feel the soft skin; to know where I stand. 

Sitting beneath a moonlit sky.

To breathe in your scent as I count the colors in your eyes.

To lie beneath the stars with my head on your chest.

To see the look on your face as I descend in my prom dress.

To sneak out with you at night.

To know you'll be here with me tonight.

To inhale your cologne whenever you hold me tight. 

To dance with no music; soaked in the moonlight.

To hear you sing a song of your choice.

To pick up the phone and recognize your voice. 

To spend all the time we can alone.

Being in love with you would be all that I know.

Your absense in my life would have me emotionally starved.

Overall, I want to know what it would be like inside your arms.

I pray that love is always within your grasp. I pray God gives you all that you ask. I pray that you find peace in mind. I pray that you are surrounded by friends. I pray that you set all the latest trends. I pray that you lead and never follow. I pray that your heart is never hollow. I pray that feelings of peace always linger. I pray your dreams are within the grasp of your every finger. I pray your bliss is never far. I pray you stay true to who you are. I pray that love is in your every action. I pray good follows you every reaction. I pray that you stay away from misery. Even if it means being away from me. 

I love you more than you think I do or could even contemplate possible.

To be frank, when you're with your friends I feel intimidated and invisible.

When I'm left alone, I watch the rain fall and hit the window pane.

I think about the times we shared

and sometimes feel like I'm the only one who cared.

You make me feel so imperfect even though I already know I am.

When I try to think about your brilliance

I get dazzled by you radiance.

I don't feel ill yet I've been struck with a new virus.

I feel a need to be by your side no matter what, and though you acknowledge me, I feel I deserve less.

And though I know I cause you pain,

I can't seem to get away. 

So the fact that I would even be a consideration has me bewildered.

You make me want to live like it's the last moon rising.

The way you speak to me is utterly surprising.

I just want to stay here soaking up the rain.

I want to hold you and take in all your pain.

No matter what you do,

I could never hate you.

Love is a beautiful thing

it makes you glad

it makes you sing

it can also make you sad.

to be seperated from the one you love

feels like your heart is being torn out

like a seed that'll never sprout.

To never see them again

is very painful

like a rubber band

it's strainful.

if it's true it'll never end.

It's full of crying

and full of good times

it's full of lying

but you see past the crimes.

Bye-bye my sweet love

i will never forget you

you're as pure as a dove

you're my baby boo.

Bye-bye my sweet love

to you i say goodbye

i'll give you one last kiss for

once i leave you you'll hear my cry.

Bye-bye my sweet love

i'll love you forever

i'll continue to think about you

my sweet dove.

Bye-bye my sweet, sweet love

i'll love you past forever

my sweet love

my love for you will last til there's never.

We met one day at camp

love at first sight

a light turned on in a lamp

no doubt and no fright.

Once our eyes met

mine turned into silver dollars

he was beautiful, too good for me

so why bother?

He was enlightening

my dark was brightening

i just can't stop thinking

our chains were linking.

Our closeness is long gone

camp is over til next year

i usually choose the wrong guys

but he's one i'll hold dear.

The stars look over a hopeless Earth

When i look up i wonder how much

they're worth

A sky of dark blue surrounds each star

when i look up i wonder how alone

we really are

Each star has a color that makes it

unique

Each star is important no matter

how strong or meek

Somehow people are the same

When i look at the night sky not

a single one is lame

cities block out just a few,

but the one that outshines them all

is the one that reminds me of you

Did you know that your eyes light up when you smile? Did you know that you don't stay in one place for more than a while? Did you know that i'll be there for you no matter how many miles, i have to travel? Because you're worth it, like a pearl inside a shell. And you deserve to be treated well. Whenever you walk i just stop and stare. I want to tell you how i feel but i don't dare. Because i know you don't care you see right through me. I wish you really knew me. I just want to look into your eyes and see the light you stole from the skies. There's a fire deep inside of you. And it's a big one too. I want to get to know you, but i can't get through to you. It'll take a miracle for me to no longer be invisible. Wouldn't it be wonderful, if people could see you instead of wanting to exclude you from everything? I just want you to be happy even if it means you'll live without me. Even if it means you're with someone else. And i'm left all by myself. I hope she sees the little things about you. Like the way you light up a room, the look you have when you read. And that she caters to your every need. And that she sees the way you look at her, and that she returns the favor. That she goes out of her way to be with you, and that she never has to make an excuse for why she can't be with you. That she understands you like no one else can. That she gets goose bumps whenever you hold her hand. That she keeps a smile on your face. That no one else can take your place. Whenever you're apart all you can do is reminisce. And you can feel every kiss on your lips. No matter what you stay on each other's minds. That she gives you all of her time, and knows you're worth it everytime. That she goes out of her way to let you know you're special. And she loves everytime you make her smile. That she loves everything about you, even the little things no one notices about you. I hope she makes you laugh like you never have before. That she loves you more and more. That you become her whole world and she becomes your miracle. And so right now and forever, i'll remain invisible.

He looks down at her and gently nods. How he reads her so well is strangely odd. He holds her hand tight as he can. You can see the joy rolling off of them. The love in the room is more than anyone can stand. The room grows lighter and lighter. The butterflies in her stomach makes her feel lighter. Tears of joy roll down her cheek. How had she managed to last all those weeks? It's more joy than she's felt in the past. Now she can claim him as hers at last. They are bonded more tightly than glue. She kissed him and claims him as she says, " I do."